A Christmas Wish
by Koccinelle
Summary: A complete waste of your time. At least, until I get around to updating itXD
1. Of Orange Paper Aeroplanes

HI MINNA!!! How have you been?? I know it isn't Christmas anymore but I couldn't stand this fic. It was so badly written that I forced myself to rewrite it. Yes, it's still the same old sucky storyline. But I think I've finally decided on a style of writing so all my fics are going to be re- written one by one. I hope you find this an improvement

Disclaimer: Do you think Kazuya Minekura would allow some insane fanfic authoress who's only supposed sane deed ever done is bashing her singing Santa Claus repeatedly with a Japanese dictionary?

I don't think so.

To my kind reviewers:

Saiyuki-gal: SANKYUU!!!!! Hurry up with Love Will Find A Way!

chris: Continuation? I don't know.. But I'll definitely make more 39 fics in the future. In fact, I'm planning one now I'll write it our when I find the time ok?

cHiaM HaRkEm: V PeAcE!!!!!!!

Keitsu Han'ei: But I was nice to him in the end.. .

RoseTear-chan: YAY!!!! Oh yeah..my handphone got confiscated so I'm sorry if I didn't reply your sms. If you sent any that is;;;

stresser: glomps Nice person. So kind to a lousy writer

Gokugurl: Gomen about Monday. My grandma came. Yeah, so she didn't let me go online. Baka, baka, baka!

Caer: Waaaaaaaaaaah..welcome to OOC land;;

fei: You think I should have kept the "sucker" part?

Di-chan: I'm the author!!!! I CAN MAKE HIM AS PISSY AS I WANT!!!!!!!!!XDXDXDXD

Shikou Yamitsuki: EIGHT MONTHS?? Do you live in Alaska? Or maybe the North Pole? ;;;;;;;;

ice krystahl: insists But your fics ARE nice! Hurry up and update Betrayal! I WANT MORE HAKKAI BASHING!!!!XDXDXD

gallatica: MORE 39 FICS!!! MORE 39 FICS!!!! bangs fist on keyboard mjhnrjtrnmf!

Nekkyo Rakuda: V When are you free? I miss you.. .

Star-chan: glomps SAAAAAANNNNNNKKKYYYUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jessica: Hontou? looks up hopefully

Nightswift: Do I know you? No I don't. And you have nothing to do with me, ok? backs away

Shinta: You like the eye colour? Just happened to come across it when I was messing up my mom's gemstones;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

cutie-pie16: Naaaaaawwwwwwwww...he's grouchier in the manga. Much much grouchier. I admit actually being embarrassed of the anime;;;

OK! Let's start the fic now!XD

A Christmas Wish

//Represents thought//

//He'd like it won't he? Maybe not. He'd better. It took Hakkai practically the whole of lunchtime to teach me how to make these things. But what if he doesn't? After all I sacrificed? Oh no, Goku, you don't miss much, just the fact that there was an all you can eat Christmas Eve buffet, which you missed in order to make these godamned paper planes.. //

Goku snorted, rolled his eyes, and continued wrapping the odd shaped package, the earlier action, picked up from a certain corrupt monk.

//Admit it. After all this time, your origami skills are still shit.//

The downside was the fact that orange origami wasn't solid, meaning that he had literally torn his way through a few dozen attempts already. The piles of discarded paper, some of cheery Christmas colors while others of bright orange, added to his rapidly fraying patience. He was running out of paper. Both wrapping and origami.

Sighing, he wiped away the beaded sweat on his forehead, cursing in his frustration, anything that had gotten him into this stupid mess. He could've just gone down to the store and bought something. Anything. He was pretty sure Sanzo would prefer a box of Marlboros to a half-crushed paper plane. Anyday. Maybe a cigarette lighter. Or a copy of the day's news. Perhaps all three. Of his friends, Sanzo was definitely the only one that he had difficulty deciding what to give. Hakkai-- another monocle. He'd cracked dozens already. Gojyo-- rubber condoms. He was sure they would come in handy. And Hakuryuu would probably be perfectly happy with a box of dog biscuits.

"It doesn't matter what's the gift is, it's the thought that counts." Hakkai's exaggeratedly cheerful face appeared in his mind as he recalled the day's events. "The receiver is sure to appreciate it."

//Yeah, unless this certain receiver is Sanzo.//

"Shit." He swore. He had considered abandoning the idea multiple times. But conscience forbade him. He just couldn't let Hakkai down. And he just had to get Sanzo something.

//It's not like Sanzo's gonna get me anything anyway, and I don't owe him anything.//

//Yes I do. I owe him. Everything. And I'll owe him forever. Indebted for giving me an actual life.. A world brighter than the sun.//

A smile played on his lips at the thought of his guardian. Sure, he was mean, grouchy, and had an incredibly sharp tongue, but he was still Sanzo. The man that freed him. The man that had given him everything he'd ever dreamed of and more--except his own love. He'd admit actually being attracted to the blonde haired man. But he could already imagine Sanzo's reaction if he actually dared to tell him. Disgust. Loathing. He needn't be told. Just a look in Sanzo's amethyst eyes told him everything.

He wasn't wanted, Sanzo had made sure that fact was established when he first took him in. And that he was taken in for the mere fact that he wouldn't shut up.

He was a pain, an extra, dispensable, something not required. Like he could be cast away anytime and easily retrieved some time later, when he would actually be useful, with Sanzo knowing fully well that he would eagerly come crawling back like the animal he was believed to be.

He would never be accepted. As a part of his life, as a part of Sanzo. That after the journey was over, he knew nothing would change between them, that nothing would make him open up more, and he would remain nothing more than one of the many idiots surrounding Sanzo in his life.

And he was a youkai, how could he forget THAT fact. The race Sanzo thought of as filth, and nothing but murderers. This time, Goku couldn't blame him. His Oshou-sama had been killed by his kind, the main reason why Sanzo had closed himself off from the world. Closed himself off from him. And Goku was sure that the pain would never heal, no matter what happened.

He sighed, his warm, happy feelings replaced with something much darker. Sanzo definitely was not the friendliest person in the world. Most likely the opposite. The icy cold mask was almost impossible to break. Even for him. There was as much chance of him liking the gift as him him being in a good enough mood to crack a smile.

He had terrific odds, didn't he?

To make matters worse, it was snowing outside. Personally, Goku had no problem with snow. The soft white stuff proved useful when clumped into a ball and thrown in order to seek vengeance against a certain akai gokiburi. (A/N: Forgive me minna-san, living in Singapore I've never seen real snow-- ;;;;;) Goku smirked at the thought. But somehow Sanzo's brain seemed to process snow as a colder equivalent of rain.

Damn Komuyu Sanzo, damn orange paper planes, damn Sanzo's mood swings. And since he was on a roll, damn Christmas as well. He was about to damn hakkai as well, but stopped himself in time.

//My, my, someone's in a foul mood today.//

//Shut the fuck up and get out of my head!//

//That's not a very nice thing to tell yourself.//

//I don't care! Just leave me alone so I can finish wrapping this.//

//Chill.Stress causes aging ya noe?//

//Maybe if I'm lucky I'll finally look my age.//

"ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!! NOW I'M ARGUING WITH MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, trying to restrain himself from pulling several locks of chocolate brown hair off his scalp.

"Goku, are you alright in there?" Hakkai's face peeked in from behind the door. "OH DEAR KAMI! WHAT A MESS!!! Goku, what happened?" Hakkai's face changed from concerned to shocked in about a nanosecond. Then back to shocked again.

//Great. Maybe I can get him to wrap it for me.//

"H-hakkai?" He sniffed, fake tears welling up in his eyes.

"Yes? Goku?"

"Can-can you pwease wrap it for me? I tried b-but." He bit his bottom lip, making it trembling slightly. "I ripped them! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! "

"SH! Sh! Okay, okay, I'll wrap it for you." Hakkai shushed.

"H-honto ni?"

"Yeah.. I will. Stop crying now, okay?"

//Sucker.//

wrapwraprustling of papershuffle

"There! All done!" Hakkai patted Goku on the head with one hand, the other magically being able to tie a big and elaborate bow ontop the earlier mentioned present.

//Nani? So fast? How DOES he do that?//

"Sankyuu!" Goku grinned widely, golden eyes getting so jelly-like they threatened to burst any moment.

"Oh, and Goku,"

//Shimatta! Has he caught me?//

"Try putting it in a box next time. It makes it a lot easier to wrap."

"Okie."

//That was too close...//

"Um..Sanzo?" Goku swallowed. Hard. Maybe he SHOULD have waited until Christmas. From his line of logic, it seemed that should Sanzo be in a foul enough mood to kill him, he'd rather get to enjoy Christmas dinner first.

Cautiously he approached the blonde monk, not sure what to expect from his wild mood swings.

He really wanted to give this to Sanzo, but the chances of rejection were ridiculously high. Plus, Sanzo just HAD to be reading the newspapers when he finally summoned all his nerves. And one thing Goku learnt was to never, never interrupt Sanzo in the middle of something as essential to Sanzo as that.

"Nan da?" Sanzo's growling voice interrupted his train of thoughts, irritably snapping the newspapers shut. The slight tears and creases from the rough treatment it was shown were more than obvious signs of the monk being in a less than happy mood. Plus the fact that the monk's hands were noticeably shaking as the papers fell victim to his iron grip.

Sanzo was pissed--literally.

Somehow finding enough courage to keep himself from just dropping the present and putting as much distance as possible between him and the said monk, Goku spoke.

"You see..um...I kinda got you a Christmas present."

"I don't need it. I don't want it. I don't want you. Now get OUT of my room." Sanzo's curt remark and frosty stare would have been enough to send any normal human retreating immediately. Except for Goku. Well, minus-ing the fact that he WASN'T human.

"But I put a lot of effort into this. Onegai?"

//And so did Hakkai.//

He winced as his blond guardian shot him another icy cold glare.

"Negai?"

Sanzo got up. Goku's heart soared, assuming it was a gesture of acceptance. He couldn't be more wrong.

"So will you open it?"

SLAP

A pale leather clad hand flew across his face, leaving white hot fingerprints across his cheek. Gingerly he laid his hand on it, the burning pain slowly giving way to a stinging sensation. Tears blurred his eyes. Funny, he'd been punched in the gut and knocked out cold countless times, but they never did hurt as much as what he had just experienced. Emotions whirled around, fear, confusion, disbelief, others he couldn't name. He let out a choked sob.

"Baka saru. Get out, dammit. NOW."

Tears fell--for real this time. He sobbed, dropped the gift, and ran blindly out of the room.

Yes, yes, it's horrible but at least it's not as bad as last time I was totally shocked at the number of reviews I got last time round. Ah the power of good titlesXD Are they still as OOC as before? I hope not. And I got rid of most of those weird mini bits of POVs. Another Saiyuki fic is coming from me soon I've got everything planned out. All I need now is the time... --;;;;

I hope the improvements I made are worth the support you guys gave me last time

Yeah, and I won't mind if you review again

* * *


	2. A Christmas Wish

THANK YOU MINNA-SAN!!! YOU WERE SO KIND!!! bows until forehead touches the ground As I expected, everyone sided with Goku. I do agree that Sanzo was meaner than usual in this fic. What I didn't expect, was the 18 reviews you kind people gave me!!! I wasn't even expecting 5! I'm so sorry I couldn't get this up earlier. I can't use the computer on weekends. And the internet broke down the day before Christmas Eve so I couldn't post it after I had finished it. This varies slightly from the original plot but I think it would work a lot better this way:) I know Goku seemed a bit um.OOC since he wasn't as innocent as he should have been. But honestly, I can't imagine any eighteen year old being THAT intellectually in sufficient. I hope you enjoy this.

Disclaimer: No mommy, me no own Saiyuki. Me only own the DVDs for season one and two and the movie Requiem along with a few stray copies of the manga. Don't worry mommy, me no betray your trust even though me can just cross the road and take a bus to the anime house to buy the OVA even though it is not that expensive. Why? Because daddy told me not to. Me good girl you see? crosses fingers behind back

For my reviewers:

Saiyuki-gal: Get the next chapter of Truth or Dare up soon! I wanna read!

Chris: Thank you for your review!

cHiaM HaRkEm: I'm glad you like the Japanese words. I actually removed a lot of them in case I got flames telling me that I was misusing them and blah.BE GENTLE!!! ME ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH JAPANESE CLASS!!!

Keitsu Han'ei: There, I made Goku better now) I like my head by the way, please don't bite. .

Sacred Bloodred RoseTear: Thank you for your support for all my fics.

Stresser: THANK YOU! bows

Gokugurl: You GOT to get the next chapter up soon! For those of you who found my fic nice, wait till you read Gokugurl's Of Golden Eyes It's much, much better!

Caer: Thanks to you, I got this hilarious image of Sanzo hobbling around with a bruised shinXD

Fei: Me thought it was foam. UP TO MY ANKLES!!! And becos of that, me couldn't see where the steps were and.ITAI!!! ;;

Di-chan: He HAD to be pissy, or there wouldn't be the fic in the first place.

Shikou Yamitsuki: sweatdrop Is snow THAT bad?

Ice krystahl: YOUR FOC ROX!!!

Gallatica: Here it is!

Saiyukifan: DARE KAMI NO NAGAI SARU!?!??!! KONO NEKKYO RAKUDA!!!

SLL: Sanzo is Sanzo. That's why he's so mean.

Zero-talent: jumps up and down happily SANKYUU!!!

Nan: Who CAN hate Sanzo?

Cutie-pie16: I agree. But do you read the anime or watch the manga? I found that he smiles in the anime, and that he's MUCH grouchier in the manga.

You wanted it minna, so here's the next installation of A Christmas Wish

"I don't need it. I don't want it. I don't want you. Now get OUT of my room."

...

SLAP

...

"Baka saru. Get out. NOW."

Goku sniffled, replaying the scene in his mind. He rolled over, seeking a more comfortable position on the makeshift bed. He tightened his grip on the soaked pillow, unmistakable proof that he had been crying. Hastily wiping away fresh tears, he turned to face the door of his room, where the footsteps outside seemed to be stopping.

//It's Hakkai. I'm prepared to bet my lunch on that.//

"Goku, it's me Hakkai. I brought you some snacks. Open up please?"

//I was right.//

"No. I'm fine. Just--just leave me alone onegai." Goku choked out, annoyed at his voice for giving way at the wrong time.

//Now he'll KNOW something's wrong.//

"Honto ni? You don't SOUND fine."

//Work voice, WORK.//

"Then what do I sound like?"

//YES! THANK YOU!//

"Like you have a sore throat or just cried yourself to sleep. Of which in either case you should still let me in."

//Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Or not...//

"I wasn't that obvious was I? Hakkai?"

"Actually, you were. Now please open up, or the nikuman will get cold.//

A choked sob.

"Goku?"

"Coming Hakkai."

It was only after Goku had explained to Hakkai what happened that Hakkai realized the seriousness of the situation,

//And here I was, just thinking that Sanzo refused to buy the poor boy some food.//

"So can you help?" Pleading golden eyes looked up at him, brimming with hope.

//Poor, poor Goku.//

"I'll see what I can do. Maybe I'll go talk to Sanzo for you."

"Okie. And Hakkai?"

"Hai?"

"Arigratou."

The word of thanks was barely audible. Another choked sob. The poor boy had probably started crying again.

Hakkai grimaced, Sanzo was probably being his usual uncaring self as usual. The fact that Goku would usually be able to cover up the hurt and get over it proved how bad the situation was this time. The harisen was acceptable, even the principal at the school he used to teach at used it as a form of 'motivation', plus the fact that kids there days were equipped with harder and harder skulls.(Jas: smashes rock on head rock:crumbles uh.heh.. heh.--;;;) But a slap? Even from Sanzo, that WAS overdoing it. Sometimes getting facts into another's head required a little pounding in.

//Talk to him I will.//

"Ch." Sanzo lit another Marlboro, possibly already on his tenth one that day. True, he shouldn't have slapped the boy, but he was just too annoying. The harisen was beginning to lose effect. And his Smith and Wesson was at the table on the other side of the room. Dumb as the saru was, Sanzo doubted he'd stick around long enough to get shot. But those golden eyes.so filled with hurt.

//Someone's feeling guilty.//

//Damare. I am not.//

//Really? You don't act as if you're not.//

//Shut UP!!!//

The door clicked open.

"What?" Sanzo growled irritably.

"Ano Sanzo." Hakkai's worried face peeped in.

"If you're siding the ape, get lost. Even if you aren't, get lost anyway. I'm feeling really generous about my bullets. I don't care that it's Christmas. I don't care that I hurt the saru. I don't even care if he throws himself in a lake and freezes to death.

"I just want to talk." Hakkai's voice was betraying a slight knot.

//Surprise, surprise. He's siding the ape.//

"About what?" Sanzo massaged his temple in frustration.

"About THIS." Without warning, Sanzo felt Hakkai's fist connect with his jaw. Hard. Choking on his own spit, he collided with his cheap put-together- bed, sending splinters of wood flying everywhere.

"Fuck up." He managed out, surprised that he could still talk. After all, his windpipe was half blocked.

"Summimasen Sanzo, that seemed the only way to make you see sense. I just want you to know that Goku locked himself in his room last night and cried himself to sleep because of that one action."

It was only then that Sanzo realized that he had overlooked the fact that Hakkai wasn't smiling.

//Why should I care?//

//Then again, you WERE pretty hard on the ape. Hakkai is offering you an excuse to apologize without losing too much pride. You ought to go for it.//

//Fine. But that depends which end of the deal I'm getting.//

"So you're suggesting that last night I should have humored the ape by opening his bloody gift?"

"In fact, I actually am. You have no idea how much effort Goku put into it. He was crying over merely wrapping it. And he skipped the Christmas Eve buffet so I could teach him to make them.

"Make WHAT?"

Hakkai bent down and picked up the brightly wrapped box Goku had dropped the day before. Sanzo actually admitted being relieved. It seemed to be staring at him the whole of the night before, accusing him. Not only that, it didn't seem.RIGHT down there. Not that he would've picked it up anyway.

Hakkai handed the box to him.

"Open it." Sanzo let pride get the better of him. He froze, not being able to decide what to do.

"Fine. Then I will." Hakkai carefully undid the ribbon that held the wrapping paper in place, and showed Sanzo the contents.

Two orange kami hikoki.

An aoi hana.

And for the first time in his life, Genjo Sanzo didn't know what to say or do.

"If you're wondering about this," Hakkai continued, holding up the blue flower, "it was because he once heard you say that it could only fly in a blue sky. Since he couldn't get the sky to fit in the box, he got you this instead."

"Souka."

"Are you sorry?"

"Maybe."

"Will you apologize?"

"I'll think about it."

"Now," Hakkai finally had his trademark smile plastered on his face again. "I think you can make someone very happy with your presence."

Goku squeezed his eyes shut, and rocked himself back and forth on his bed again. He knew he had been too hopeful, to the extent of sheer stupidity. Sanzo wouldn't be mad at him if he hadn't tried to give him the present in the first place. The dried trails of tears on his cheeks were the only proof left that he had been crying. He hugged his knees closer to his body, forcing himself to think about food in a desperate attempt to stop a fresh batch of tears coming if he opened his eyes.

//Sanzo's most likely still in his room barbequing his lungs.// He thought sullenly, long giving up hope of his guardian coming to apologize.

//He probably doesn't want to see me again. Maybe I should just leave. It would probably be a much better Christmas present..not having me burden him.//

"Oi. Quit your sulking. Kono bakasaru."

Goku froze, not daring to open his eyes to face the owner of that voice, in fear of himself being hurt even more. He winced, as Sanzo's scent drew nearer. Only to feel Sanzo's pale hand cup his chin.

"S-sanzo?" Goku spluttered.

"Open your eyes dammit." Sanzo's grip on his chip rose by a notch or two.

Hesitantly, Goku did as he was told, being extra careful to avoid Sanzo's eyes.

"And look AT me. Not away." Goku obeyed, nervously letting his gaze move upwards.

Sherry topaz met amethyst. But what surprised Goku was that Sanzo didn't seem mad. Well, not more than usual anyway.

"Ano.Sanzo?"

"You are SO lucky to have Hakkai as a friend. If he hadn't convinced me otherwise to open that goddamned piece of crap, I would've killed you by now."

"I know." For the first time in a day, Goku let himself smile. "And Sanzo? That 'goddamned piece of crap' was actually my Christmas present to you."

"I figured that much out." Sanzo voiced neutrally, as usual seemingly void of any emotion.

"And?" Goku asked hopefully. "Did you like it?"

"It sucked. But--" He added, making a crestfallen Goku look up again in hope, "this is mine."

Not giving the younger one any time to react, he pinned Goku on the bed, locking his lips with the youkai's with such force that it made the demon's mind go blank.

As suddenly as it came, Sanzo broke the kiss.

"Merry Christmas." He voiced gruffly. "I'll see you at lunch. Because if I catch you skipping another meal, you're in for it."

Goku grinned at him, a faint blush still coloring his cheeks.

"Hai. Merry Christmas Sanzo."

++Owari++

Well minna? Did you like it? Hate it? Feel like flaming? Go ahead. I don't mind. So long as it helps me improve. I hope I met your expectations. If you were hoping for some lime in my fic, gomen na. But me prefer fluff to romance. pouts ME DUN WANNA WRITE LEMON OR LIME AND YOU CAN"T MAKE ME! Stomps foot Sorrry again for posting it so late. I forgot to add that my father trashed the modem. Please R&R!


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